Philosophy Of A Deep Broken Wise Girl

Isolated

Hate and a Blade...

Hate and a Blade...
Am I the only one...
that feels this way...
Blinded by this negativity.
Why is it that my veins are ruined,
All they can see is Beauty,
What about my inner scars,
don't be blinded by my pretty smile...
Sorry but I'll diStant Me,
I need need this...
I'll be your only stranger...
Surrounded by four walls,
It's closing in...
Why can't I explain this horror,
this terror from in...
My inner core feels like an time bomb...
Let me hit it on my own.
I suffer too much,
but I don't care,
on this Road to Redemption...
Am I an Cave Beast,
Living on The Edge of Chaos...
Should I just play with or just do my own thing...
Because all I ever had is my Numbness...
Another Descendant Ruined...
Don't follow me cuz I'm no Role Model...
I'm an Black Rose...

Echoes of Numbness...

Echoe, Echoe...
I have my heart in two halves...
I got no feelings...
Two pieces hanging from my eyelids.
Numbness are taking over.
Why?
I seem to always end up here,
Numb,
I'm way too young,
It's not unfair.
So what's my next poison - that's fair!
because it can't be Love...
No Drugs,
Oh Damn!
Disturbing that being Me:
Seems ending up in a dumpster...
How ironic...
Feels like I'm stuck in Thursday...
You've already seen my other side...
Drunk and uncertain...
Red Wine and Mota's!
Feel like I loss sight of time...
Got my emotions gone 28hours...
I'm an Insomniac,
I Sleep Walk...
because my mind is leading Me,
to a better place!
Echoes of Numbness...
I clearly need to dumb this!
You need to leave this numbness.
because I made a promise,
and I'm keeping it Permanent...
I feel like everyone -
can see this...
can see this: open scars!
It's official and its brutal...
Hopeless and Unnoticed...
Am I just a verb to the:
infinite Misfits and Mistakes,
that wander this Earth
Wondering:
If this is the Greatest Mistake Ever!
To Accept that we'll:
Conquer Greatness!
AND
that numbness itself  will Echoe...

Then what!

Am I wrong to talk about someone else...
To you...
I feel pissed.
If you just knew how much i miss you...
I don't like rhyming...
because how will,
I describe this feeling...
I hate it,
when I have to ignore you,
because you are always on my mind.
Lately I've been thinking,
been thinking too much...
Are you my Zing...
The key to unlocking my happiness...
I'm not inlove...
I just love you my friend!
You say you know me,
and that I've changed...
Now I'm confused,
because I don't know you no more...
The key of confused-ness...
Am I being brutal to myself,
the fact that I'm scared to let:
You in...
You aint no thug,
no mother fucken wigga...
Just a calm gently nigga.
The fact that I don't care,
how I look,
because I always have your:
UNDIVIDED ATTENTION...
Too scared to take a chance...
I'm not ready for a leap of faith,
because I don't believe in fairytales...
No more...
Don't hate me,
because I do love you...
I just seem to be complicating things for myself.
When it comes to my emotions,
I'm always speechless.
Lately my attitude has been silent,
and I've always been turning to you.
I don't have the feeling of lust.
Don't you dare look at me and call me beautiful,
because I don't feel worth that.
Maybe you are my maybe...
Lord knows what that mean...
I'm not good with words,
because I always over think,
so go ahead and blink,
Happiness...

What If that's not what I want...
Then what?

Hippie that wears Black

My comfortable look...
John Lennon Shades.
Blue Scottish Skirt.
I love my boots...
Rocking my messy natural look.
I believe in being comfortable and happy on the inside and on the outside...
I love Peace....
I like Black just as much as I love every colour I can possibly make with my paint...
I'm a Free Thinker and I do abide by rules...
I learn rules so that I can break them properly!
I'm a huge Rainbow Fan,
Because I still get excited,
And I still jump up and down when I see a Rainbow...
What I seek is Happiness even in a Unhappy way.
Funny how this started out as a title and now it's like therapy.
Dancing in the rain,
Hahahaha that usual things,
Usually the Simple Things...

I'll stay a mystery unsolved....
And this is just a Freestyle!

I don't like...

 

 

I don't like...

seeing you sick

seeing you sad

seeing you mad

seeing you...

I can't bear to see you cry...

It makes me shatter...

No words can describe,

that look upon your face...

The stars don't make sense,

tonight...

I don't even understand the blow,

the blow of the wind...

As I light my cigarette...

I can't bare the loneliness...

As I inhale...

I wonder if I should exhale!

So use to the look on your face-

when you are Happy...

seeing you like this...

seeing you like this

makes me feel inhuman,

makes me feel 360 degrees.

seeing you like that...

seeing you like that

makes me wanna rip out my heart and I wanna give it

to you...

makes me wanna do art just

for you...

I may sound lesbian,

because,

"I don't like..."

Is for a girl...

Not just any girl...

More than one...

My family,

My sister,

My friend,

My cousin,

my...

This might be for you Reading this...

This might be for any female,

that I love...

It's what I don't like...

I don't like the way you look at me,

When I know I'm wrong.

Indescribable...

This is so confusing...

but hold up!

I'm the Poet!

I don't like it...

when you share memories without me,

but I understand.

I don't like...

I don't like...

the look on your face when he-

disappointed you,

I don't like...

Lying to you, but it's for you...

Don't worry I'll always be next to you,

in my presence.

Every little thing you do,

I'll cut it out and put it in the book of memories.

I know that you're not dead yet but,

I'm already missing you...

so please don't leave me so soon...

The fact that you wanna climb into my head,

and 

the fact you want me in your head,

makes me feel uncertain...

I don't like...

so please forget about tomorrow,

let's make today last

and 

let's not say goodbye

only hello

hold on to forever...

look into my eyes!

 I don't like...

I don't like...

Completing...

What's wrong in being the least.
Because I'm totally in your reach.
No nightmares,
I'll be your happy ending.
If I should fight a Dragon for you,
I'll do it...
Being your Sleeping Beauty.
It's my deepest pleasure,
waiting for you in my dreams.
If I'm not as pretty as Beauty.
I have the Beast in Me.
Like a Rose I am
Without you I'm thorn apart.
Hopeless and Faithless.
That's what they think of Me.
Writing long sobby letters.
Love Letters!
Can you please be...
in my Love Story...
with me...

Completing my Happy Ending...
The End.

Exclusive Poetry...

222

I don’t ask much,
So give me what I deserve!
Yes talk about it,
I try my best though:
Fuck You!
You must really be blind…
Boy!
You don’t deserve Me
I aint worth it!
You are polluting my mind…
It’s just so Fucking upset!

Upset and so coward!
I hate you
I hate you
I hate you
You did’nt warm Me up
You made me colder

It’s scary how you can say you love me:
So serious!
You can’t even finish my Fucken sentence…
Don’t pretend cuz I aint no puppet
Hunn…
Don’t prevent it cuz it aint me and you…
It’s You!
Not my prince, Fuck you, Fake Superman!
I aint spending my life with you!
I aint giving my arm for you!
Why? I’m not giving my all no more!

Shut up and listen!
Cold…
I’m cold
I’m cold
I’m cold
Actually too cold!

Toxic Relationship...

Our relationship is so toxic…
It defines toxic…
Nigga are use Blind.
What we have seem to be,
everybodies business…
You kinda leave me speechless
and it aint romantic…
W.T.F
Why am I still trying.
You aint got me crying.
You need to reboot:
your attitude…
I love you;
But i kinda hate it…
Toxic…
Waste…
Nigga are use blind!
Your toxicating my mind!

IamLenéPrinsloo Facebook TimeLine Picture

My facebook TimeLinePicture...

Red,Yellow and Green
OneLove...

Don't let them fool ya...
Or even try to school ya...
~Bob Marley

IamLenéPrinsloo

Permanent Scars...

We all have scars...
I try to forget about them,while I gaze at the stars...
While I rub the tears away with them tissues...
I finally accept that I have some deep issues...
Maybe it's from my childhood...
Or maybe it's just carved in before I could ever stood...
They don't come from boys.
Maybe just from wanted toys.
Just when feelings started too bloom...
I realize that I will never have a groom...
A matter that stays unspoken...
Just because I feel like I'm broken...

I'm in the middle of a cemetery...
I wonder will there be a imagery...
While I bare you my heart and my soul.
I hope that you can hear the drum roll.

I hope you have notice:
That I've always been there to bear the brunt.
I will blossom like a blue lotus:
For you to erase the Permanent Scars on your treasure hunt...

Fucking Trust (Ft. Production by The Page Brothers) by KatDahlia

I just Love Kat Dahlia!

 Fucking Trust (Ft. Production by The Page Brothers) by KatDahlia

Unsaid Things

The day that my thoughts end up on a note
Is probably the same day I'll spend Planning my own end.
I won't do it,
I think.
I'ma Pussy in other words,
Scared of death in other words.
But don’t test me, I say
Coz I might be a pussy.
But a loser I'm not
I proved myself wrong so many times.
I'll Die a Winner rather.

You might not wanna know what I think.

So it's unsaid things
I think that you aint ready-
For my truth,
For my shit.
If I put it in ink on paper
It might be stupid or
Maybe it might change you or me.
I might rub it with paint all over the wall.
Is it paint?
Or is it something else?
That may stay unanswered,
Until it starts smelling…
If I get the chance to say the things unsaid,
It might be mind-blowing or
I might end up,
The end of science…

Unsaid things will stay exactly that.
Unsaid things.
Because when It's said, wrote or typed.
We all know its gon end Bad…
Unsolved Mystery.

Beware Of A Broken Heart.

We are perfect together,
but that's not what I want.
We decided to take a leap of Faith…
One shot through my heart…
You just called someone else's name
not mine…
Three weeks…
Nausea…
I can't get any food in…
I can't keep on running…
I'm too weak for that.
I know that you know my weakness
and that's so coward,
because you know it's you.

My friends tell me I'm Mad!
I promised to them that I'll let them know.
I will not pretend,
because we are already into Deep in this:
Worst Scenario…
I'm not Happy!
What I taught was My:
Happy Ending…
Ends up being a:
Crime Scene…
Laying on the bed.
Lord knows how I ended up there…
What happened last night remains a mystery to the World.
What happened this morning remains my endless misery.
No one will ever know…

Why can't you face me
I'm okay with that
Because I don't feel you…
You put your arms around me:
and slowly turned me around like I have no control over my own body…
I was expecting a:
Sorry!
but you touched my bruised face and ran down the stairs .
You returned with Ice cubes and you put it against
My face…
While we are facing each other
You rub the ice slowly against my right cheek
To make the swelling go down..
Tears were falling simultaneously from my eyes…
At least I wasn’t scared of your touch no more.
You had no idea of the other bruises…
If only you knew how hard it is for me to move my body,
It was really hard for me to pick myself up;
I slowly try to remember what actually happened last night.
But the horrible pictures that went through my mind was:
Brutal and viscous!
I close my eyes to ease the pain,
But tears kept on falling…  
I held on tight to your hand but how could I
How could I,
How could I still hold on to you so tight.
How could I still try!
The way you held my hand…
I knew the guilt was building up inside…

If only you knew…
That I remember and that it still remains:
With me like a scar on a warrior!

The next morning you woke up…
With no one next to you…
On the kitchen counter there were an envelope,
And burning Roses…
The fresh Roses that was delivered
For Me!
From You! 

Inside the envelope…
There was a Rose
And
A Note…

"I'm sorry but Honey you need Help!
I Promise!
I'll come back when you got that Help!
I Promise!
I'll give you a second chance!
I Promise!
You'll be a Good Dad!
I Promise!
I need the Best for our Baby and I don't want our Baby growing up,
In this Conditions…
I always tried to Help!
I still Try!
I gave you all my trust,
but u abused it…
You knew that my weakness was you,
But I have a new weakness and
Having this weakness gave me the strength to Run…
It gave me strength to see the good there once was!
So it turned out Good…
Yes.
I'm 3weeks pregnant.
And I want you to be part of our:
Life
Reality
Dreams
And Future…

P.S
I Love You
Take Care…

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY TO THE PEEPZ WHO BELIEVE IN THIS...

Sorry but I'm not into Valentines Day...
So I'm wishing all the peepz out there a really sweet day, and too all of the people out there like Me enjoy your normal day
-either infront of your books or laying in bed listening to music or watching a movie...

Enjoy your Valentines Day
Enjoy your Normal Rainy Day.

P.S
Take Care
♥

I'm a huge Robyn Rihanna Fenty Fan

I'm just crazy really crazy more like bezerk over Rihanna...
I love you Riri and I'm insane over your music.
My fave song at the moment is "No love allowed"....

DIAMONDS

Signed another
BadGirl♥

Something?

?
How can there be something.
If I feel quite nothing.
I'm afraid to tell you.
But you don't even scare me.

?
Why am I hurting.
When you don't even hurt me.

?
Why am I so Cold.
It's not because of my Past.
Probably of my Future.

?
Why
I'm afraid.
But nothing is scaring me.
I'm scared, bruised and hurt:
Mentally and probably Spiritually.

2011 Exchange Student to Germany



Had a nice time in Germany with my sister Maren Bertling and the Bertling Familie....



Traumatised...

It's like I'm still Traumatised.
It's my ever lasting shock.
So ive experienced an:
emotionally disturbing injury...

This words I'm using,
makes you feel Traumatised.
Doesn't It...
Don't be Hipnotised.
By this Shit...

If you can't take no more:

Cry
Scream
Sleep
Stress
Pull out your fucking hair
No one will fucking care.

It's just normal...

We just human!

It will pass...
It's just a stage in your life!

You just TRAUMATISED...

Ice Cold Mission...

Layoutsparks.com

Why am I so Cold?
Don't look at me with those eyes.
Like an injured soldier,
you'll make me feel.
You'll make it impossible,
so hard for me to breath.
Laying next to me,
you'll feel my cold corps-
next to you.
No,
I'm not dead,
because I'll keep on fighting.
Don't break your promises,
because i didn't break mine.
Transformed into a Cube...
Ice Cold lips.
Why do you feel so welcome.
When you kiss these-
Ice Cold lips of mine.
It's my Mission in life,
to make sure you'll-
never be Cold...

Hearts

Drawing hearts...
Nope, I'm not in love.
Maybe, I'm in love.
No, I'm in love.
Yes, I'm in love.
Yes, Let's make it endless.
No, Let's not break this.
Maybe, I'm loving this.
Nope, I'm not hating this.

Drawing hearts...
I want to give you a kiss.
It will be so cold-
Ice cold lips.
I want you too feel
just like I do,
but you so warm.
Together,
We are like Fire and Ice.

Shocking Truth

Never say i'll be there
If you don't have the time.
Never say what's on your mind
If I'm not really there.
Never say the truth
If you plan to lie.
Never kiss my hand
If you gonna break my heart.
Never plan to begin
If you already put it to an end.
Don't even plan to start
If all you do is break me apart.
Never look into my eyes
If you feel like stabbing me with lies.
Don't say Hi!
Because I know you mean Goodbye!
If you really mean forever...
You should try...
Don't buy me roses
You should try to rhyme!
I don't want fame,
you know I'm into being lame...
So honey i'll take the Blame.
So If you saying infinity...
You'll cause me to Cry
Beyond Forever...